ARCHIVES - May 03 to June 03

Friday, June 27, 2003, at 9:46:50 AM

I'm back in town, and it seems that updating away from my computer and via FTP screwed the homepage up space-wise.  So I fixed that, and added the Light Switch Mafia link to the articles page because I forgot to add it after sticking this ugly car one up above.  I haven't had Wendy's in about 2 weeks and I feel weak and out of breath.  I must have some dollar menu delights soon or I will surely perish. 

I wanna say hi to Ronnie, who has been in basic training for about 4 weeks now, and sent me a letter recently.  Apparently, basic training is tough, and not the gentle licking of kittens that I thought it would be.  Good luck man.

Tuesday, June 3, 2003, at 9:17:12 AM

I haven't done anything new or interesting lately, except get a cell-phone.  I think I might be the last person in American to not have one.  One time, IN A COLLEGE CLASSROOM, we played this stupid game to get to know everyone in the class. You might know it, it's the one where you write one thing about each person (ex. I have eaten alligator, or I have artistic ability...)  So one of the questions comes up, and it's "I do not have a cell-phone."  Every single person in the whole damn class (by the way I go the the University of Miami, the rich kid capitol of Florida) had one, except for me.  I had a beeper. See, I wanted to be known as the one with artistic ability, but I got stuck with, "No cell-phone kid."  Damnit...  Well, not anymore.  Now I, the Kevin, have the power to call people and pay the T-Mobile corporation and Catherine Zeta-Jones all my money to call people on their nationwide wireless network.  T-Mobile.  Get More. 

For those of you wondering what is it I do at work, this might sum it up. Yes, that right, I cover up computers to show other foolish employees what to do if rain somehow gets into the office.  Look at me go.  And I get paid for this.  Boo-yah!  If you look closely you'll see that I'm wearing my "Splitplug.com" cap.

Oh, and finally, here's my belated review of the Matrix Reloaded.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003, at 10:25:49 AM

Ha! Take that other movies.  For those of you who thought "The Lizzy Mcquire" Movie was going to take the top gross this weekend, you were grossly mistaken.  See that?  I used the same word in the same sentence with a different meaning.  I am a literary genius.  Yes it's true, "The Matrix Reloaded" trumped everybody this weekend, with a cumulative gross (for the moment) of $134,282,716.  That ain't not no chump change.  You could buy about 20 Hyundai Elantras for that amount of clams.  Maybe more, who knows?  This post was completely pointless, but with a point. 

Wednesday, May 14, 2003, at 9:57:54 AM

101001010000001010111110010100000101000111100101010001000000111100
000000101001000111000000001010111010101010101011110001111000001101
001010101011011011000001011110100010011010010SPLITPLUGRULES00100
1000101001000001101001000DOTCOM010100010001010100101000000110001
0010101010THEMATRIXHASYOU01001001010001011110100010100101001010
1010100101001010000001011010000I'MHUNGRY0101010100101000101000010

S e c r e t m e s s a g e s...   s p o o k y... i ' m  a n  i d i o t... 

Dante: I'm hanging up!
Morpheus: No, wait, don't hang up.  We don't have to talk about the Matrix.  We can talk about our favorite bands, girls who broke our hearts... the, um, Matrix...

Monday, May 12, 2003, at 8:59:35 AM

To celebrate the spectacle of my birth, I'm throwing (or have thrown) the party of the century right here at splitplug.com!  Fantastic!  This most outstanding party took place at this very location, so come take a look at the fun we all had.  It was totally non-bogus!  Click the banner for maximum fun.

Friday, May 2, 2003, at 2:37:03 PM

I have failed you all.  My mission to once again become part of internet and photographic history has yielded no results.  Try as I might, my spectacularly beautiful image was not taken and placed on the web.  Damn photographers.  Well no worries.  I'm over it, since it was a week ago.  You all with have to deal with it yourselves. 

To make myself feel better, I'm going to enjoy a showing of X2: X-Men United.  It comes out today you know.  And Colossus is in it.  He so damn badass.  People go up to him, and they are all like:

People:  Hey Colossus you are so badass!
Colossus: ...
People: You rule, and you're like Russian and shit!
Colossus: ...

See?  He doesn't take guff from people.  He just says nothing, and stands there, all metallic and delicious.  I'd like to lick him while licking a fork and some aluminum foil to see if it shocks me.  Colossus rules. 

How long is that Light Switch Banner going to stay up there?  As long as it takes for me to write a new article... that's how long.   It's raining.

Archives  - Mar 03 to Apr 03 >>>